Irene Dunne Defines "A Lady"

ELSA MAXWELL started something when she listed Irene Dunne among the ten great ladies of the world.

 Ever since the actress´ name appeared on Miss Maxwell´s roll of honor. Young America has been taking its pen in hand to inquire of Miss Dunne how to become a lady, what is the use of it and if there are not more disadvantages in such a state.

 "I´m beginning to be very tired of the word ´lady´", sighed Irene, from among the daffodils and white iris in her sunroom, a background most flattering to her red-gold hair.

 "It depends a great deal on what you mean by ´lady´", she went on. "If you mean the sort of creature who existed in the time of our grandmothers when it was thought smart to faint at the sight of a mouse, when showing an ankle took you out of the ´lady´class immediately, then the idea is the false one. If you mean by ´lady´ the feminine counterpart of ´gentleman,´ that´s a different thing. Any one would be proud to be called a lady in that sense."

 She sat there quietly, perfectly relaxed, not playing with the gadgets on the table beside her, not fussing with her collar or belt. If, as been said, poise is essential to a lady, it must be admitted that Irene scores 100 here.

 "My mother is really a great lady, in the best sense of the word," she continued, "I had her example before me. Besides, I was sent to a convent when I was quite small, where we were all conscientiously taught to be ´little ladies.´ That was the term, I remember. You must do this because you were a ´little lady,´or ´little ladies´ never did that. I think you can be taught a great deal regarding good manners and conduct, but the real heart of the thing is inborn. It concerns a spontaneous kindness, a certain nobility and a deep sincerity."

THE old-fashioned idea of what constituted a lady is responsible for the revolt against the term, according to the actress.

 "It became almost a reproach to be called a lady, because people believed that a lady was a tuesome creature who was entirely dependent upon the nearest male; who screamed delicately, at a spider or a real peril instead of doing something about it; who never crossed her legs; who burst into tears, when things weren´t going her way, who couldn´t stir without a chaperon. And so on."

 She dismissed that type of person, scornfully.

 Once upon a time, it seems, that a certain periodical devoted to the interests of "ladies" declared that the donning of gloves revealed whether or not you belonged to the right category. You must have put on your gloves before you left your bedroom, if you were going out. If caught putting them on downstairs, or at the door, or -horrors- while you went along the street, you were defenitely out.

 "If any one tried to catalogue women according to what they wear these days, they would not get far," commented Irene, her blue eyes smiling. "The modern ´lady´doesn´t go by rules. She wears what is simple and becoming to her particular style and when she has it on she stops worrying about it.

 "The difference today is not between ´women´and ´ladies´as it once was, but between the modern lady and the roughneck. No one could seriously long to be a roughneck, could he? Every woman naturally desires to wear the correct clothes for her particular position, or the affair she expects to attend.

 "At one time, before the became accustomed to the business world, girls in offices, wore unsuitable clothes, but I think that is the exception today rather than the rule.

 "It would be absurd today to insist that a woman because she showed her ankle she wasn´t a gentlewoman. She can wear the briefest of bathing suits for swimming, shorts for tennis, slacks for the beach and so on, without responsible criticsm. It is quite another thing, is she wanders into a boulevard shop in a scanty pair of shorts. That, of course, is something that just wouldn´t occur to a modern lady. The old-fashioned type wouldn´t get into the shorts, much less into the shop."

 The problem of chaperons is not one that concerns the twentieth century.

 "In an earlier day you were not a lady if you went alone, or if you accepted an invitation from a gentleman which did not include your mother or some older woman, if you were unmarried," said the star, who has had occasion to familiarize herself with customs of earlier days while protraying girls who lived then.

 "If you were married you went nowhere without your husband, socially; you never accepted an invitation from another man unless he were your father or brother; in osme circles you could not even dance with any one not related to you.

 "Fortunately, costums change. Those ideas were artificial and they have vanished. Chaperons don´t exist. All we need do now is to be sure that we have the right to go to such and such a place with this or that person. If it isn´t right no true lady will go."

 At this point one of the star´s friends came breezily into the room.

 "My dear, what are you people talking about?" she cried. "Ladies? How weird!... Why, I think it´s easy enough to tell a lady when you see one - no nice girl swears, isn´t that so? Irene never swears. So it´s all settled."

 "This story is supposed to explain the advantages and disadvantages of being a lady," explained Irene.

 "Are there any advantages?" demanded the visitor, and hastily answered her own question. "A lady has poise. My dear, what would I give to be a lady and have poise! And a lady doesn´t talk about herself - or is that a disadvantage?"

 "It must be to an interviewer," returned Irene, ruefully. "After all, an interview is as much part of an actress´ business as a camera angle. I should think a writer would hate a woman who couldn´t talk about herself when that was the subject necessary. I tell you what I´m going to do it they really give me the promised three months´ vacation this year. I´m going to write out the answers to every question one can possibly think of and put them on a file, then when I´m asked: ´What was you most embarrassing moment?´ or ´What is your favorite non-fattening food?´ I shall say: ´Wait a minute.´ Look in my file and produce at least three choices. As it is, I merely stand staring, unable to think of anything."

 "Is Irene serious, or is she stalling, because she can´t think of any advantage of being a lady?" querred the visitor.

 "This lady business is very much overdone, if you ask me," Irene continued. "Never try to be one - that´s fatal!

 "It´s like trying too hard to be a hostess. You fairly get in your guests´ hair... I think some women are born hostesses and some are born guests. I mean ideal guests. The ideal guest isn´t necessarily a woman. Last night I went out to dinner and among the guests was Jerome Kern, who is an example of what I mean by ideal.

"Our hostess had probalby planned to do something after dinner, cards of games or whatever it was, but Jerry happened to start talking and he was so interesting, we all hung on his words as if he had been a magnician and we a lot of little children under a spell. He told us of old Ziegfeld days, how various productions happened to be launched, what happened at the opening of this one, what was the secret behing that one. It was like turning the pages of a wonderful book. I have seldom had so good a time." 

 "Getting back to being a lady," broke in the lively friend, "I´ve just thought of another way, you can tell whether or not a girl is a ´lady´"

 "Yes, yes, go on!" we urged.

 "If she giver her companion all her attention, she´s a lady," announced the caller triumphantly. "Most of us listen to him with half an ear, murmuring ´Oh, yes´and ´Dear me, how thrilling!´ and ´You don´t say?´ at intervals, but not really listening to him. Our eyes glide to the door every time one comes in; we keep looking around to see what so-and-so has on; if whosis is speaking to her ex-husband; or maybe whether or not they´re going to pass the cocktails this way. If we can forget everything else and be absorbed in the person we are listening to - or pretend to be absorbed - we´re ´ladies.´ How is that?"

 "Excellent," approved Irene.

 "And another advantage a lady has is that she is usually helpless - and do men fall for helplessness ---!"

 "Oh, that´s no longer true," replied Irene. "I mean it´s no longer true that ladies are helpless. You´re talking over the old-fashioned type. I agree that certain kind of dependence is very appealing to men, but I think that type of false dependence that permitted one to faint and scream for help instead of doing something is outmoded. It´s as unfair as getting your own way by bursting into tears. That´s not cricket."

 "Hear! Hear!...Now let´s talk about the disadvantages of being a lady, if any," suggested the irrepressible guest. "My dear, I´ve just thought of a beautiful one! You can´t tell people exactly what you think of them. Such a satisfaction!"

"IT IS a disadvantage not to be able to let yourself go," admitted Irene with a twinkle, "but on the other hand, after you´ve said all that occurs to you, aren´t you a bit ashamed of exhibiting your temper? Don´t you feel later on that perhaps you have made yourself ridiculous?... At any rate, there´s much to be said on each side.

 "It´s so silly to sit here discussing ladies if they were some kind of third sex or a variety of human being apart from the rest of humanity," said the star. "Men, women and ladies... The modern lady is no more remarkable than the modern gentleman. He doesn´t go about throwing down his cloak or tossing a glove in the face of an enemy as a signal for a duell. He merely behaves himself, is considerate and kind. That´s all ther is to being a modern lady - if you must pretend not to know."

(The Daily Mail Sunday Magazine - Charleston Daily Mail, May 24.1936)